Something in internet land directed me to Steven Hargrove's page on status 301 redirects, which we use at work. The real story here isn't 301 redirects. No, the undercover awesomeness here is in the comments, when Eric Newman begins asking for help.
Steven Hargrove: How to redirect a web page, the smart way:
"and i know the source is correct because it gave me a source to use and it looks right to me i know this program works because i see other web pages work and it specified that windows xp can work which that is what im using (professional)and i talk with other people and they have no idea on this and i have one more question what is redirect web page mean im makeing pages from a web program called “web page maker v2″ i put the source to use the program after i create the page and i know i told where to look for it to"
"Please answer my question Mr.Hargrove i need to know and i have one more question to ask how do i get a sponsorship because i need a bigger harddrive,fast internet,some connections, and a pro of doing this business thing so please tell me i know i sound desprite sorry.If this will make you feel better i will have a link to this site."
Ah, if it were only so simple.